


Inhale, Exhale

by arsistiel



Series: Flufftober [11]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Embarrassed Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Mush, Flufftober 2020, Happy Ending, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, He's exhausted tbh, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Married Couple, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Mid Night Cravings, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Romantic Fluff, Smoking, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Stress Relief, Supportive Magnus Bane, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a bit - Freeform, stress smoking, yee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arsistiel/pseuds/arsistiel
Summary: Magnus finds Alec stress smoking in the middle of the night, and he is there to help his husband relax.[Flufftober day 11, Mid Night Cravings]
Relationships: ( mentioned) - Relationship, (mentioned) - Relationship, Alec Lightwood & Andrew Underhill, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood, Lorenzo Rey/Andrew Underhill, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Flufftober [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945453
Comments: 6
Kudos: 173





	Inhale, Exhale

**Author's Note:**

> Tw// Graphic descriptions of smoking/ Cigarette smoking.

**9:00pm**

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes straining as he closed his tablet. He had just finished up 5 of his 7 pending reports. He deserved a break.

The last time he checked the clock, it was 5pm and he had just texted Magnus an apology for not joining him for lunch. Since then, his phone had been laying on the other side of the room, charging.

Sighing, he stood up, knowing that Magnus might’ve texted him backs k.

**From Magnus**

_5:12 pm_ It’s okay, darling. But I hope you’ve had something.

**From Magnus**

_5:12 pm_ I told Biscuit and Isabelle to feed you anyways.

**From Magnus**

_8:45 pm_ I believe the universe just likes to mess with us. It can’t see 2 husbands relaxed and happy.

**From Magnus**

_8:45 pm_ Got a call from the paris, urgent downworlder meeting or something like that. I don’t know. Didn’t pay attention but I’m rushing there right now

**From Magnus**

_8:46 pm_ Probably will be late. I left dinner in the microwave. Eat something and come home by 10. Rest. You’ve been working too-hard nowadays. Love you, good night.

Alec made a face of contempt, there was no point of going back home early if his husband wasn’t going to be there. He’d rather just finish the rest of his reports.

**To Magnus**

Okay. And try not to lose your patience. I miss you and love you too.

He plugged his phone back in the charger because apparently, he had forgotten to turn on the switch the first time around and his phone was plugged in vain for the last few hours. 

The Clave was wreaking havoc these days, with the shadowhunters creating more and more alliances with the downworlders and several institutes around the world disregarding the ignorant and bluntly discriminative laws, the Clave felt like it was losing its control. Which was why there have been new policies coming up every month, that did nothing rather than create chaos and pressurise the shadowhunters. 

And as the Head, Alec would be lying if he wasn’t stressed out. Everyone had been.

If he was being honest, he could’ve really used some of Magnus’s cuddles tonight. Just slumping down in his husband’s arms and forgetting about everything else. But alas, the universe disagreed.

Alec stretched out his arms and grabbed his jacket, going out of his office for the first time since this morning.

Outside, he could see half of the shadowhunters rushing around while the other half were tiredly slumped against tables or walls. They gave Alec lazy nods of their heads when Alec passed by, barely even letting out a ‘Good evening, Sir’.

They all needed a break, Alec knew, and sighed.

He went on the terrace, deciding to go out for some fresh air. The institute felt so congested, nowadays. It was suffocating.

He found Jace there, who Alec had assumed was out patrolling at the time.

Jace was standing with his elbows on the railing, looking up at the sky as he… lit up a cigarette?

Alec hadn’t seen him do that in a while. To be honest, he had only seen Jace smoke once, when they were 16 and had decided to give it a go together. They didn’t do it again after that though. Not to Alec’s knowledge anyways.

“Jace?” Alec said, stepping forward as Jace put the lighter down before inhaling through the cigarette and sucking in the smoke, then releasing it slowly. He didn’t cough though, as if he had done it before.

“Hey,” Jace said, holding the cigarette between his fingers and sliding the lighter in his pocket. “What’s up?”

“You’re… smoking?” Alec walked towards him, frowning. “Since when?”

Jace just shrugged. “Underhill offered me a cigarette on a mission last month.” he said. “Shit has been stressful, man.” he then brought the cigarette to his mouth again, taking a drag.

Alec hummed. Leaning against the railing beside Jace. It had been, indeed.

“That’s bad for you,” Alec said, watching as Jace took another hit and waved a dismissive hand around. 

“We’re shadowhunters,” Jace said, “Angel blooded, our lungs aren’t as weak as the mundanes’.” 

Alec rolled his eyes. “Aren’t you on a patrol?”

“Simon went instead,” Jace told him, tapping the cigarette with his index finger so the ash fell off the tip. “I’ll take his shift tomorrow.”

“You guys have been exchanging shifts?” 

Jace shrugged. “Everyone has, why do you think you didn’t recognise half of the team A yesterday night?” Another drag. “Shit has been _stressful_ , man.” Jace repeated.

“What about you though? Why aren’t you home, yet?”

Alec exhaled a breath, waving a hand to get the cigarette smoke off his face. “Magnus isn’t going to be home, tonight. Thought I’d rather finish up some reports”

“You’ve been working all day long, bud.” Jace said and shook his head, then stretched his hand in front of Alec, offering him the cigarette. “Try it. Helps.”

Alec looked at it for a bit as if to decide whether he should take it or not. Magnus had offered him once too, a few months ago, which he had refused. But then again, right now he was tired. So tired. And his brain was constantly looping in thoughts.

_the Clave, Reports, Demons, Clave, Reports, Demons, Clave, Reports…_

Alec took the cigarette and held it between his thumb and his index finger, sighing, before he brought it to his mouth and slowly inhaled through it. It got in his mouth and felt warm, but the smoke was bitter. 

When he inhaled it completely, it hit the back of his throat harshly like a huge lump, making him cough out.

“Easy there,” Jace said, patting Alec’s back. “Start small.”

Alec let out another cough from his chest, before wiping at the corner of his eyes which had watered up, and taking in another drag. A small one this time, which also made him want to cough. 

“There we go-” Jace nodded, then took out another cig from his pocket and lit it up.

“How many do you have?” Alec asked, squinting his eyes. He cleared his throat, it felt a little rough.

“6 more,” Jace replied. “So, any more _policies_ coming up?”

As they talked and Alec reached the end of his cigarette, he felt his eyes focusing and unfocusing. His brain felt a bit hazy, and there was a certain kind of warmth in his lungs. He felt lighter, as if a headache had disappeared which he didn’t even know that he had in the first place.

The haziness didn’t last long though, but it felt good, it made him feel better. A small buzz in his nerves.

**1:45am**

Alec came back to, as expected, an empty home and dragged himself straight to his bedroom, plopping down on the bed with his face planted in the pillows in the dark without removing his shoes, gear or changing the clothes.

“Didn’t eat after all, did you?” maybe, the loft wasn’t that empty.

Magnus walked over to him from the bathroom, and Alec felt the bed dip as Magnus sat down.

Alec lazily turned his head to look at him, in the dim lights, Magnus’ silk blue robe glimmered. “Hey,” he said. “You’re home.”

“I am,” Magnus said, letting his hand fall into Alec’s hair, who shuffled in closer at the gesture. “And I expected you to be here too.”

“I had work,” Alec replied.

Magnus shook his head. “You always do,” snapping his fingers to banish Alec’s gear away, knowing that the shadowhunter was too tired.

Alec hummed and let out a small “I love you.”

“I know,” Magnus replied. “You need to start listening to me, Alexander.” he said, then leaned down to place a kiss on Alec’s head.

A faint smell of rancid smoke hit Magnus’ nose when he did so, the smell of a dirty ashtray.

Magnus leaned back up and frowned down at Alec. For all he knew, Alec didn’t smoke. Alec had told him that he had tried once in his teenage years but never after, when Magnus was smoking and had offered Alec some, which Alec had refused.

Magnus didn’t smoke often, only sometimes. Of course he was a centuries of old warlock so he had tried a lot of things, but he wasn’t a big fan of smoking.

“Alec,” Magnus said, “Why do you smell of… cigarettes?”

For a moment Alec's eyes widened, before he pursed his lips. “Jace was… smoking so, might be that,” he lied. He didn’t need too, Alec knew. But he also knew that it’ll just worry Magnus and raise questions, which Alec didn’t have the energy to answer at the moment.

There was a hesitation in Alec’s voice which made Magnus frown, a sign that Alec wasn’t telling him the full truth… maybe. 

Magnus disregarded it, seeing how tired Alec looked, almost drifting off into sleep. “Okay then,” Magnus said. “Don’t sleep yet, sit up, eat and change.” Alec groaned in denial, “Hey, you went to sleep on an empty stomach last night too, come on now”

Alec mumbled something in disagreement, but then turned over and leaned up on his elbows and looked up at Magnus, who laughed at the tired pout Alec gave him.

Without being able to help himself, Magnus bent down to kiss that pout of Alec’s, who hummed in return. 

Alec’s mouth tasted of the smell of rancid smoke from before. Magnus pulled away, making Alec trail his lips.

_Did Alec try smoking?_

Alec stared back at him with a weary eyes, blinking in the darkness. Magnus sighed again, deciding to ask about it in the morning.

“I’ll bring you dinner,” he said, patting Alec’s shoulder before standing up and disappearing in the living room.

**Days later, 11:00 pm**

“Underhill,” Alec raised his voice, then looked back at the room where Magnus was sleeping, and lowered in again, “You can’t do anything about it now. And I’m not going to allow another team to go out if _you_ aren’t sure about the number of nests there”

“But sir…” Underhill started but trailed off. “Okay, alright I’ll... submit the reports to you tomorrow.”

While patrolling tonight, Underhill’s team had bumped into a demon nest, or nests. 3 shadowhunters had gotten injured and they had to rush back to the institute, unable to call for backup.

Underhill had called Alec, who was drifting off into a deep sleep, cuddled up to his husband. With urgency, Underhill had asked for permission to send out 2 more teams to handle the nests. Even though he was unsure of the exact number of demons that were there.

Alec stifled in a yawn. “Go and rest. Meeting in the ops room tomorrow, 9 am.”

“Okay, sir.”

“And give Lorenzo my best,” Alec could feel a slight lightness in Underhill’s voice at the mention of the name. They had been unofficiallyofficially dating since Alec’s and Magnus’ wedding, a few months ago. It wasn’t clear if they were, Alec was sure he had seen them together in the hunter’s moon, every second weekend since the past 3 months though. But Magnus, Izzy and Clary said that Underhill rarely ever spent a night at the institute anymore and always came back in the morning with bruises on his neck, and the new and 17-century bracelet that was always on his wrist nowadays made it quite obvious.

“I,” Underhill cleared his throat, “will, um, will do.” and with that, he hung up the call.

Alec sighed, running a hand over his face. Then stretched out his arms as he went back to his bedroom.

Magnus was still sleeping, though he was now hugging a pillow which had previously been Alec. He smiled at his sleeping husband.

Magnus’ mouth was slightly open and his face peaceful, body relaxed.

 _I love you_ , Alec thought quietly as he bent down to press a kiss on his cheek, before slowly getting under the covers. Careful as to not wake Magnus up, who just mumbled something and scooted closer to Alec, though the pillow between them became a barrier.

So Alec gently removed the pillow and threw it down, Magnus pressing his body against Alec’s side.

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus and closed his eyes.

**12: 15am**

Alec couldn’t sleep. His brain on a loop again

_Clave, Demons, Nest, Clave, Demons, Nest, Clave…_

Magnus was tucked under his chin as he laid on Alec’s shoulder at the moment though the rest of his body was laid diagonally across the bed. 

Alec sighed. He wanted to shut off his brain.

He craved a cigarette.

It’s been 3 weeks since he took the first hit. Since then, Jace and him smoking on the terrace every once in a while during the said 3 weeks became a thing. Both wanting to let go of their stress for a moment. 

Clary had joined Alec too, last weekend. When she found him smoking alone while Jace was out on another patrol. 

_“I didn’t know you smoked… Does Magnus know?”_

Magnus did not, not yet anyways. He didn’t have anything to hide, Alec knew. He just… It didn’t come up and Alec didn’t want to worry Magnus.

And he might’ve been a little embarrassed about this.

The clock ticked and the more Alec thought about it, the stronger his craving got.

_Clave, Demons, Nest, Clave, Demons…_

Alec slowly lifted up Magnus’ head to retrieve his arm from under, Magnus shuffled at that exact moment, seemingly distraught. But then he turned over and went back to sleep again.

Alec got off the bed, stood up, and stared at Magnus for a moment. He then pulled the covers upto Magnus’ sleeping body, pressing a kiss on the side of his head. Then, he headed to get his office bag from the living room, which contained his laptop, tablet, 2 knives and a pack of cigarettes.

Alec hadn’t brought his cigarettes home before, preferring to let them stay in the office, but tonight in a hurry he had forgotten them in the bag. 

Alec quietly slid out one of them from the pack of Marlboro Gold and took out his lighter as well, going to the balcony.

He placed the cigarette in his mouth and held it between his lips as he flicked the lighter on. Sucking on the cigarette till it caught the heat and taking in a drag, Alec closed his eyes to forget about the shadow world, for a bit.

**12:17 am**

Magnus felt Alec sliding his arm from underneath his head and standing up. Still half asleep, Magnus assumed he was just going to the washroom and turned to his side. Though what pulled him a bit out of his unconsciousness was Alec pressing a kiss on the side on his head and walking out of the bedroom.

Magnus thought it was because he might’ve gotten another call, or a text.

He heard the zip of something opening, probably Alec's office bag, and then the balcony door opening. He didn’t hear Alec talking or murmuring though.

_Was he working again?_

Magnus rubbed his eyes and flopped onto his back when Alec didn’t return till a few minutes. He leaned up on his elbows, trying to look past the doorway. Alec wasn’t there in the living room.

“Alexander?” Magnus whispered softly. No reply.

Sighing, the warlock dragged himself out of bed, grabbing his silk robe and wearing it as he stepped out of the bedroom. The first thing that hit him was the smell of smoke.

Someone was… smoking?

Magnus padded through the living room to the balcony and saw Alec standing there. Staring at the chaotic city. “Alex-”

Alec let out smoke from his mouth that mixed into the air. Then, the shadowhunter brought a half-finished cigarette to his mouth again and took an expert hit, tapping the cig to let the ash fall down professionally afterwards. He looked a little distraught and yet, calm.

Magnus didn’t know that Alec… knew how to do that.

“Alexander?” Magnus said carefully as he stepped on the balcony.

Alec flinched a little, almost dropping his cigarette down as he coughed out the smoke in a panic, turning to look at Magnus. “Hey,” Alec cleared his throat. “How are you- did I wake you up?”

Magnus lightly nodded, eyes fixed on the cigarette that Alec tried to hide in vain. He had suspected that Alec had probably taken a huff or two with Jace, a few weeks ago. But now it all kind of pieced together in his head; Alec coming home smelling of deodorant even though he didn’t usually train at night. Alec having a new habit of chewing gum. Alec directly getting in the washroom to have a shower without even meeting Magnus at times.

“Oh,” Alec said. “I, um,” he looked down at the cigarette.

Magnus stepped forward and came to stand beside Alec. Then took the cigarette from Alec’s hand and held it between his fingers, slowly taking a drag on it, coughing a bit because it has been a while and releasing the smoke. 

Alec watched him in silence as he bit his bottom lip, Magnus looked mostly unbothered, which Alec had obviously expected. He was just taken by surprise at first, not expecting Magnus to catch him mid-cigarette.

“Didn’t know you started smoking, love.” Magnus said after a while, taking another huff before extinguishing it on the railing.

Alec sighed. “I was going to tell you,” he replied. “I started a few weeks ago, Jace offered me some.” He told him before Magnus could ask.

Magnus hummed, as if he had expected it. Then turned to look at Alec’s face, side-leaning against the railing. “Institute's been that stressful, huh?”

Alec hung his head low, not wanting to meet Magnus’ eyes, “You know it.” he said quietly, cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Magnus then asked, voice still calm and gentle. “About the cigarettes?”

Alec clicked his tongue. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he said.

“I’m always going to worry about you,” Magnus replied without hesitance. Then, “Alexander…” he ducked down, noticing the color in Alec’s cheeks, “Are you embarrassed?”

Alec licked his lips and looked up at Magnus, shrugging. 

He was embarrassed, yes. He had to rely on something, a cigarette, to help himself stay functional under all the stress. He was a shadowhunter, The Head of the New York Institute, he of all people, should have a hold of his emotions.

Magnus looked at Alec with a soft expression when Alec finished talking. He hooked two fingers underneath Alec’s chin to lift the shadowhunter’s face up. Wanting to look into his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with needing something to clear your mind sometimes, darling.” he said, “It’s just troublesome if it becomes an addiction.”

When Magnus cupped Alec’s cheek, Alec leaned into the touch, eyes tired and body relaxing. Magnus gave him a smile, then leaned in to kiss Alec. 

They both melted into it, a cool breeze caressing them.

“I’m coming to the institute to help,” Magnus said, when they pulled apart, then shushed Alec when he tried to protest. “No arguments, you shadowhunters can use some warlock assistance, I'm coming.”

Alec sighed and nodded, knowing that Magnus wasn’t going to back down. “Okay.” he replied and Magnus pecked him again. 

They talked after that, soft and slow. And Alec seemingly forgot about the cigarette, or the shadow world. A weight lifting off his shoulder. Better than how the smoking helped him too. 

Magnus’ voice was a different kind of high, Alec thought. It was soothing and relaxing. Loving and warming.

“Come on now,” Magnus said, taking Alec’s hand when Alec released a yawn a few minutes later. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

Mid night cravings could wait, Alec realized then, if Magnus was there with him. Because very unsurprisingly, Magnus was his best stress relief


End file.
